Nevertheless, it was free, so I ordered one… with plans to deface it. Don’t agree with gay marriage? Don’t marry a gay person, then.

Rating: No stars for hatred!

Get your own here, but if you put it on your car, I can’t promise I won’t… well, that I won’t glare at you when I see you driving by.

The poster is smaller than I expected, but then again, I can’t really expect a gigantic poster for free. It’s about 11×17, and the cheeses span from cream cheese and feta to asiago and gruyere. This is a mouthwatering poster. It describes each type of cheese in small print underneath a picture of it, and on the back of the poster you’ll find cooking guidelines, tips for creating a proper cheese course and wine pairing, and basic guidelines for dealing with cheese.

This poster makes me wish I had some cheese in my house. Any cheese. I think I’m going to hang it in the kitchen. I love cheese.

Rating:

Three stars, because, well, CHEESE.

You totally want to get one of your own, don’t you?

Now, I’m pretty young and don’t know how much a serum could possibly rejuvenate my skin right now, but I decided to try a sample of Aveeno Active Naturals Positively Ageless Rejuvenating Serum nonetheless. They sent over enough for approximately a day… Unfortunately, the pamphlet it came in says that 73 pecent of women saw reduced lines and wrinkles – in just four weeks.

My skin feels smooth and looks fine, and I was already a fan of Aveeno products in the first place. They also threw in a coupon that’ll knock $1.50 off any Aveeno facial care product. Go Aveeno!

Rating:

The product is neither over nor underwhelming… Perhaps if I could try it over four weeks and see a huge difference I’d be a little more excited about it.

Get your own sample here.

I tried one of these, and it was DISGUSTING.

Just kidding. The Greenies Smart Biscuit was a great way for me to get my puppy involved in my neverending quest to get something for nothing. Here’s our guest reviewer, Scout. She is probably almost 4 months old now.

The Greenies folks sent over three different Smart Biscuits for Scout to sample. Here’s all I can really say about them: She seems to devour them quickly, and they don’t make her vomit. Of course, she feels the same way about the stuffing in my pillows, so I don’t know if that means the Smart Biscuits are necessarily awesome, but I’ll assume they are since they’re actually made for dogs.

The cool thing about these biscuits is that they’re supposed to freshen doggy breath. I think I’m impervious to the Scoutster’s doggy breath, though, because I can’t tell much of a difference.

The little monster does enjoy the biscuits, though, and the package also came with a coupon for $1.25 off any size or flavor SmartBiscuit. Coupons rock.

Rating:

Three stars, because anything that makes my puppy happy and distracts her from pouncing on the cat is a good thing.

Get your own Smart Biscuits.

I opened it and found a sheet of car stickers. There was no insert, no explanation, no letter.

Because I apply for so much free stuff, I like for the companies/organizations/whatever to stick some kind of little insert in the envelopes so I can get a reminder of what and why I ordered the item. Perhaps that’s selfish of me. “Oh, I get soooo much free stuff, I am sooo greedy, I can’t even remember it all!” Oh well.

After a little research, I found this:

“Shell Motorsport celebrates the start of the 2007 Formula One season and its ongoing partnership with Ferrari by offering you brand new free stickers. Don’t miss this exclusive set featuring the F2007 and the new driver, Kimi Räikkönen. Fans who ordered the previous set can now broaden their collection with this new set.”

Aha! That’s why I ordered stickers from them! Personally, I’m not crazy about car stickers, but I have a feeling my 6-year-old niece will have a blast with them. They’re on what looks like a standard 8.5×11 sheet.

Get your own here.

Rating:

But for those of us who are lucky enough to have some amazing creatures in our lives, the ASPCA is offering a free refrigerator magnet containing animal poison control information. When Rover gets into the chocolate or the laundry detergent, you can refer to the magnet and call for some advice until you can get him to a vet.

Get your own Animal Poison Control Center magnet.

Rating:

Anything that helps my furry friends gets a leg up on the competition. This could potentially be a pretty useful free gift. Thus, the three stars.

I got mine in the mail today, so I rushed out, bought a bottle of Jacob’s Creek, and planned a romantic dinner for my man. Then, at exactly the right moment, I presented him with the special bottle of wine, and tears came to his eyes.

Just kidding. Actually, I ordered a cabernet sauvignon label, but when I went to the liquor store, the closest I could find was Jacob’s Creek Shiraz. So I got that. He wouldn’t notice the difference. When I got back, I slapped on the label and handed it to him. He doesn’t like wine as much as I do, so he shrugged noncommittally before he noticed my personal message.

It’d be sweet to actually plan something romantic with a label like this, though. Maybe you should do that.

Get your own personalized Jacob’s Creek wine label.

Rating:

This free sample put a smile on my guy’s face. That’s enough for me to give it a 3.

I’m not a Quaker, but I’m thinking about putting this sticker on my car. The mailout that came with the bumper sticker says the group is working on a new political strategy for Iraq, trying to come up with an alternative to war, opposing the torture of detainees and lobbying to restore habeus corpus, preventing funding for new nukes… and more. These guys are doing some serious good.

Get your own War is Not the Answer sticker.

Rating:

I’m going with three stars, because I’m a big fan of the message they’re trying to convey.

I got my depression journal in the mail today. Aptly enough, it’s blue. It’s small enough to stick in your nighstand drawer, away from prying eyes, and it comes with a pretty cool little pen attached to it.

A free journal is never a bad thing. I think I’ll be using mine as a dream journal, so maybe in the morning I can remember why I woke up giggling in my sleep.

Don’t cry, my friends. Get your own depression journal.

Rating:

This is probably one of the coolest things I’ve gotten for free in the mail yet – hence, 4 stars. I’m a writer at heart, so of course I go ga-ga over crap like free journals.

For teen girls who want to feel like BFFs with Hayden Panettiere, see lots of pink and learn how to be safe online, 2SMRT4U.com is a pretty good find. Even better, they’ll give you a free ring – if you provide address information that they advise you not to give out via the internet. Oh, the Catch-22 that is the information age…

Backed by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, 2 SMRT 4U offers a ring that’s stainless steel, adjustable and has 2 SMRT 4U engraved around the band. My band fits my pinky. I would adjust it for a more appropriate finger, but the adjustable stainless steel is pretty hard to adjust.

I think this effort is really cool, and that lots of girls would benefit from learning how to handle themselves on the World Wide Web, but I don’t think I can escape the irony that arises when someone spells “smart” without an A.

Rating:

2 stars, because I think it’s an awesome project. I would have given it 3 stars, but I disagree with promoting and encouraging AIMspeak.

Get your own 2 SMRT 4U ring